The worst Kyrgyzstan news coverage. Ever. Thanks, CNN.

This is why I'm pulling my hair out at a prodigious rate.  I'm talking clumps.

Let's first go back in time to 2005.  Here is a conversation CNN anchor Kyra Phillips had with space shuttle correspondent Miles O'Brien about Kyrgyzstan:

Miles O’Brien: Well, it looks like we’re talking about another revolution in a country some of us can’t pronounce. We’re not mentioning any names, of course. It’s kind of like Kyra-stan, but it really isn’t. We’re calling it ‘The Tulip Revolution’: People power in the ’stans, coming up.

Kyra Phillips: I love tulips… Hey, Miles, is that a new portable PlayStation?

Then, we got this piece of turd reporting from CNN.  What is wrong with it?  Oh, let me count the ways (and this list is by no means exhaustive).

• Dozens of people died, Ms. Phillips.  Can you not sound so apathetic and bothered, as if the producers are making you read a story about how some reality star just got caught cheating on her significant other?
• Can't we spell things out fe-ne-ti-ca-lee on the teleprompter?  I mean, really.
• Good luck finding it on a map.  Why the f' should we as AMERICANS care?  Way to make everything about us.  
• "...rising utility prices, you know, electricity and gas."  I don't want to hear the following words out of a reporter's mouth: um, like, and you know.  Was that actually on the teleprompter?
• You can describe Central Asia and Kyrgyzstan in a number of ways.  Muslim is probably about #36 on the list of relevant one word descriptors.
• Josh Levs was an up and comer until he landed a job at CNN.  He is doing no favors for his career by being stuck working on stories based on his research using the Wall Street Journal, Google Earth, and about.com.  About.com!
• So the segment is about to end.  What will Ms. Phillip's last question be?  What has Moscow's reaction been, in light of the fact that Kyrgyzstan is within its sphere of influence and has resented America's presence at Manas?  Or, will the opposition that kicked Bakiyev out end up being corrupt and undemocratic, just as Bakiyev became after he kicked out the ancien regime in 2005?  Or a tougher question, how much has the country's north-south dichotomy played a role in the overthrow?  No, she ends up asking, why do these countries have -stan at the end?

I am now completely bald.  Thanks.